The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a
happy married life.
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as
cigarettes, and far more expensive.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the
stars.
In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not
getting what one wants, and the othe is getting it. The last is much the worst;
the last is a real tragedy!
One should always play fairly when one has the winning
cards.
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only
proper basis for family life.
Woman’s first duty in life is to her dressmaker. What the
second duty is no one has yet discovered.
It is always nice to be expected and not to arrive.
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they
judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
One should always be in love; that is the reason one should
never marry.
After a good dinner one could forgive anybody, even one’s
own relations.
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked
about, and that is not being talked about.
The one charm of married life is that it makes a life of deception
necessary for both parties.
The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict
themselves.
A truth ceases to be true when more than one person believes
in it.
The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect
everything; the young know everything
A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as
other people are looking on.
Being adored is a nuisance. Women treat us just as Humanity
treats its gods. They worship us, and are always bothering us to do something
for them.
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything
except genius.
Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that
has survived.
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he
is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
Just as the philanthropist is the nuisance of the ethical
sphere, so the nuisance of the intellectual sphere is the man who is so
occupied in trying to educate others, that he has never had any time to educate
himself.
We live in the age of the over-worked, and the
under-educated; the age in which people are so industrious that they become
absolutely stupid.
How appalling is the ignorance which is the inevitable
result of the fatal habit of imparting opinions!
The difference between literature and journalism is that
journalism is unreadable, and literature is not read.
There is much to be said in favour of modern journalism. By
giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the
ignorance of the community.