Thursday, December 27, 2007
Say It With Numbers: #2-2007
o At $280 billion, India’s retail sector is 10% of GDP and employs 8% of total workforce (42 million people). Estimated growth: 9.5% annually
o There are 12 million unorganized retailers (neighbourhood stores). 80% are family-owned and run
o Organised, big retail accounts for 4-5% of the total pie. Big retail is just 1% of the food and grocery market. Its estimated to grow to $100 billion (16% of total)
o The 15,000 Maoist insurgents in India are active and wield influence in 170 of the 602 districts in 16 of the 33 states
o 30% of the cars sold in 1993 had ACs and were non-white in color.80% of the cars sold now have ACs and are non-white in color.
o 150 km/hour is the speed of the fastest train in India
o 25,000 lives (including that of an Indian Prime Minister) were lost in the Sikh militancy in India during the 1980s. By 1993, terrorism was vanquished in Punjab
o Air passengers in India: 10 million annually till 2002. 71 million in 2007
o 94% of 6,00,000 villages in India do not have a single branch of any bank.
o 10,00,00,000 (10 crore) telephone connections were installed in India in 2005, of which 5,23,00,000 (5.23 crore) were of mobile users.70,00,000 (70 lakhs) subscribers are added every month in India as compared to China which adds 45,00,000 (45 lakhs) every month
o The telecom subscriber base in India was
§ 80,000 in 1948 (just after independence)
§ 5 million in 1991
§ 15 million in 1997
§ 220 million today
o In the last national general elections, 5,398 candidates from 220 political parties contested 543 parliamentary constituencies, 380 million people representing about 56% of the 675 million registered voters exercised their preferences using 1.25 million electronic voting machines in 7,00,000 polling booths across the country, the highest in Ladakh at an altitude of 5,180 metres, 30 kilometres from the nearest road
o Religious violence has claimed 4,000 lives in 20 years in India
o 75 ACE: King Gopala, the first Buddhist ruler of Bengal came to power through an election
o India has over 400 languages, 29 have more than a million native speakers, 60 have more than 1,00,000 (1 lakh) speakers
Monday, December 24, 2007
P.G.Wodehouse - 2
From ‘Carry On Jeeves’
It was one of those still evenings you get in the summer, when you can hear a snail clear its throat a mile away (p.18)
I’m all for rational enjoyment and so forth, but I think a chappie makes himself conspicuous when he throws soft boiled eggs at the electric fan. And decent mirth and all that sort of thing are all right, but I do bar dancing on tables and having to dash all over the place dodging waiters, managers and chuckers-out, just when you want to sit still and digest (p.60)
Mrs. Pringle’s aspect was that of one who had had bad news round about the year 1900 and never really got over it (p.165)
“No doubt you will remember my mother?” said Professor Pringle mournfully indicating exhibit A.
“Oh. Ah!” I said, achieving a bit of a beam.
“And my aunt,” sighed the professor as if things were getting worse and worse.
“Well, well, well!” I said, shooting another beam in the direction of Exhibit B (p.166)
“I remember Oliver,” said Exhibit A. She heaved a sigh. “He was such a pretty child. What a pity! What a pity!”
Tactful, of course and calculated to put the guest completely at his ease (p. 166)
From ‘Very Good! Jeeves’
I was back at the flat so quick that I nearly met myself coming out (p.106)
From ‘Piccadilly Jim’
‘In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’
‘Not strike lambs’ (p.165)
A plot is only as strong as it weakest link (p.203)
From ‘The Girl in Blue’
Except for the Gadarene swine, famous through the ages for their prowess at the short sprint, no group is quicker off the mark than a jury at long last released from bondage (p.14)
He looked, as always as if he had been carved from some durable form of wood by someone who was taking a correspondence course in sculpture and had just reached his third lesson (p.71)
From ‘Spring Fever’
“Women are like that”
“No, they aren’t. Unless they are, of course,” he added, for he was a man who could look at things from every angle.
From ‘Author! Author!’
I met a woman the other day and she said, “I don’t like your books. Why don’t you write about real things?”
“Such as?” I asked
“Well, my life, for instance.”
“Tell me all about your life,” I said.
And she mused for a while and came up with the hot news that when in
From ‘Joy in the Morning’
The first sight of Boko reveals to the beholder an object with a face like that of an intellectual parrot. Furthermore, as in the case with so many of the younger literati, he dresses like a tramp cyclist, affecting turtleneck sweaters and grey flannel bags with a patch on the knee and conveying a sort of general suggestion of having been left out in the rain overnight in an ash can (p.46-47)
From ‘Aunts aren’t Gentlemen’
“I’ve got spots on my chest.”
“Spots? That’s bad. How many?”
I said I had not actually tken a census but there were quite a few (p.18)
Aunt Agatha……..is strongly suspected of turning into a werewolf at the time of the full moon. Aunt Dahlia is as good a sort as ever said “Tally Ho” to a fox, which she frequently did in her younger days….If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know (p.20)
From ‘The Old Reliable’
Her voice was a very powerful contralto….she was apt to use it as if she were chatting with a slightly deaf acquaintance in
He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do (p.61)
From ‘Company for Henry’
“What made you propose to her?”
“He always does, he tells me,”…..”when he cant think of anything to say. It keeps the conversation going.” (p.140)
From ‘Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit’
Aunt Agatha, the one who kills rats with her teeth and devours her young (p.1)
….his tendency, when moved, to make a sound like a buffalo pulling its foot out of a swamp (p.17)
From ‘Summer Moonshine’
‘And I’m pretty sure the name was Busby. Unless,’ said Tubby, who liked to leave a margin for error, ‘it was something else. (p.11)
…..enormously rich inspite of the inroads made on his income by the platoon of ex-wives to whom he was paying alimony. For, like so many substantial citizens of his native country, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the
……But why, did you want 500 pounds?
‘Who doesn’t?’ said Sir Buckstone, rather reasonably. (p.22)
‘Well then, be at the second milestone on the Walsingford road at 3 o’clock tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be waiting there. And when you come, make a noise like a linnet’
……….He took counsel of Pollen………
‘Say Pollen, do you know anything about birds?’….linnets……what sort of noise they make?’……………
Yes sir. The rough song of a linnet is “Tolic-gow-gow, tolic-joey fair, tolic-hickey-gee, tolic-equay-quake, tuc-tuc-whizzie, tuc-ruc-joey, equay-quake-a-weet, tuc-tuc-wheet”
Tubby stood for a moment in thought.
‘Oh, hell!,’ he said. ‘I’ll whistle’ (p.145-146)
From ‘French Leave’
…..Ouch!” said Henry changing the subject and explained that a bee had stung him.
This seemed to Jo a frivolous side issue (p.10)
“I’ve never been more delighted in my life,” said Mrs.Pegler. She kissed Freddie, who had been afraid of this but told himself with the splendid Carpenter fortitude that at such a time one has to take the rough with the smooth (p.136)
From ‘Something Fishy’
George, sixth Viscount Uffenham, was a man built on generous lines. It was as though nature had originally intended to make two viscounts, but had decided halfway through to use all the material at one go and get the thing over with (p.21)
A momentary urge to bang her uncle on the head with the coffee pot came and passed. It is at such moments that breeding tells (p.67)
……….that lifelong habit of his of proposing marriage to girls whenever the conversation seemed to be flagging a bit and a feller felt he had to say something (p.71)
It had sometimes happened to Bill, when indulging in his hobby of amateur boxing to place the point of his jaw in a spot where his opponent was simultaneously placing his fist and the result had always been a curious illusion that the top of his head had parted abruptly from its moorings (p.113)
………How soon can one get married?
“Like a flash, I believe, if yet get a special license.”
“I’ll get two, to be on the safe side”
“I would. Cant go wrong, if yer have a spare” (p.147)
From ‘Something Fresh’
………beggars approached the task of trying to persuade perfect strangers to bear the burden of their maintenance with that optimistic vim which makes all the difference. It was one of those happy mornings (p.9)
…….There was one small window, covered with grime. It was one of those windows which you see only in laywers offices. Possibly, some reckless Mainprice or hairbrained Boole had opened it, in a fit of mad excitement induced by the news of the Battle of Waterloo, in 1815 and had been instantly expelled from the firm. Since then no one had dared to tamper with it (p.68)
………the sixth and final shot hit a life-size picture of his lordship’s maternal grandmother in the face and improved it out of all knowledge (p.149)
From ‘Money in the Bank’
………….she found its occupant seated at the table, playing chess with himself. From the contented expression on his face, he appeared to be winning (p.27)
……….and I find that I could put the whole of dashed human race into a pit half a mile wide by half a mile deep.
…….’No don’t,’ said Anne. ‘Think how squashy it would be for the ones at the bottom.’
‘True,’ admitted Lord Uffenham, after consideration. ‘Yerss. Yerss. I see what you mean. Still, its an interesting thought’ (p.44)
……….It was the look which had caused her to be known in native bearer and half caste trader circles as ‘Mgobo-Mgumbi’, which may be loosely translated as She on Whom It is Unsafe to Try Any Oompus-Boompus. (p.63)
……’I love you,’ said Jeff.
‘That’s the way to talk,’ said Anne
‘I shall never love anyone but you.’
‘Better and better.’
‘Did you know that ants run faster in warm weather?’
‘No, really? Faster than what?’
‘Faster than other ants in cold weather.’
‘You wouldn’t fool me?’
‘Certainly not. I had it from your uncle in person. It appears that they spring like billy-o in the dog days. I know you would be glad to hear that. And I was nearly forgetting to mention it, I love you ’ (p.237)
From ‘A Damsel in Distress’
……..Thrips thrive on the underside of rose leaves, sucking their juice and causing them to turn yellow; and Lord Marshmoreton’s views on these things were so rigid that he would have poured whale-oil solution on his grandmother if he had found her on the underside of one of his rose leaves sucking its juice (p.9)
From ‘Galahad At Blandings’
Quite a good party, avant garde playwrights and other local fauna dotted around, busy with their bohemian revels (p.5)
The policeman was a long, stringy policeman who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots. His face was gnarled, his wrists knobbly and of a geranium hue and he had those three or four extra inches of neck which disqualify a man for high honours in a beauty competition (p.9)
Nature had not given Veronica Wedge more than about as much brain as would fit comfortably into an aspirin bottle, feeling no doubt that it was better not to overdo the thing (p.23)
………looked like a cook – in her softer moods a cook well satisfied with her latest soufflé; when stirred to anger a cook about to give notice; but always a cook of strong character (p.23)
He did not look the sort of young man from whom one would have expected stories about kittens called Pinky-Poo or indeed about kittens whose godparents had been less fanciful in their choice of names, for his appearance was distinctly on the rugged side. (p.27)
‘He writes from the Athenaeum Club.’
‘That morgue?’ said Gally, who did not think highly of the Athenaeum. There was not a bishop or a Cabinet Minister there who he would have taken to the old Pelican and introduced to Plug Basham and Buffy Struggles. He might be wronging the institution, but he doubted if it contained on its membership list a single sportsman capable of throwing soft boiled eggs at an electric fan or smashing the piano on a Saturday night (p.85)
Of the broad general principle of hitting the police force in the eye he had always thoroughly approved. You could not, in his opinion, do it too much and too often (p.87)
A gurgling sound like the wind going out of the childrens toy known as the dying duck showed how deeply he had been moved (p.130)
They’re soul mates. She has about as much brain as a retarded billiards ball, and he approximately the same (p.156)
…….but you often find these fellows with tough exteriors, strangely sensitive. It was the same with Plug Basham that time Puffy Benger and I put the pig in his bedroom.’
‘Why did you do that, if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘To cheer the poor chap up. For several days he had been brooding on something, I forget what, and Puffy and I talked it over and decided that something must be done to take him out of himself. He needs fresh interests, I said to Tuffy. So we coated a pig liberally with phosphorous and left it at his bedside at about two in the morning. We then beat the gong. The results were excellent. It roused him from his despondency in a flash and gave him all the fresh interests he could do with. But the point I’m making is that it was years after that before he could see a pig without a shudder’ (p.167)
Friday, December 21, 2007
Movie Review: Do Ankhen Barah Haath (Two Eyes and Twelve Hands) (1957)
“Almost twenty years ago, in a small state of
It’s a simple story of a jailor who reforms an impressive ragtag bunch of murderers and criminals through an experimental open jail i.e. a house (not a prison) somewhere in a barren area. And how together they overcome the demons of temptation (the temptation to stray from the path).
The reasonably good standard of acting in this movie is particularly more impressive if you take into account the era in which this picture was made. Its remarkable humaneness and elavating thoughts make it in a sense quite a ‘modern’ movie. The way humour is used to take the story forward, the attention paid to characterization appeals.
The kind of performances the director has extracted from his cast is delightful. Watch the bewildered reactions of the kid of one of the murderers when he cries out ‘Where do I go?’ after his father tries to send them away from the house (for unknowingly causing a schism in the unity of the house).
Yes, one can complain (justifiably) that it does tend to be somewhat patronizing throughout. Another jarring note being the part played by Sandhya with her highly stylized overacting. What V.Shantaram saw in her to cast her again and again renders my mystified. But then as they say ‘Love is blind’ as Sandhya was V.Shantaram’s 3rd wife.
You might find fault with the Hindi diction and dialogue delivery of the main actors too but then that is probably not their mother tongue. Plus the tendency of the films of that era to tend towards melodrama; including the jailers tendency to sit like Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’; that wont sit comfortably with you.
Also, the movie does end rather too tamely and too melodramatically for my taste. Won’t reveal much on that.
But just in case you think I am complaining too much, the positives of the film far outweigh the negatives. The broad vistas of the desolate landscape will leave your heart aching at the end.
Unlike Sandhya (who seems to take it pretty lightly on hindsight next morning, the fact that the criminals trying to molest her the previous day) you will take this film more seriously.
- Aei Malik Tere Bande Hum
2. The brilliantly picturised ‘Takataka Dhoom Dhoom’.
Unfortunately I cant find any online video on this
<5-jan-10> and some kind soul has now uploaded it. Enjoy
3. Umad Ghumad Kar Aai Re Ghata : another delightful song not on youtube
Songs 1. and 3. have beeen known and appreciated by many Hindi film lovers over the decades
Raj Kamal Kalamandir presents
Songs: Bharat Vyas
Playback: Lata Mangeskhar, Manna Dey
Music Direction: Vasant Desai
Photography: G. Balkrishna
Direction: V. Shantaram
Babu Rao Pendharkar
Movie Review: Junoon (Obsession) (1978)
Shyam Benegal made ‘art films’. Many of his movies: Ankur, Nishant, Manthan, Bhumika, Junoon, Kalyug, Mandi, Trikal are classics of Indian cinema. Not of course talked-of in the same breath as say Satyajit Ray’s movies; nevertheless he was the poor man’s Satyajit Ray, so-to-say. It was his immense good fortune that he was blessed to be around with a crop of excellent artistes in the peak of their prowess: Shabana Azmi, Naseeruddin Shah, Smita Patil, Om Puri, Amol Palekar, Kulbhushan Kharbanda being some of them. Probably never before and never after have we been blessed by such intense actors in Hindi cinema. Benegal extracted some of the best performances of these artistes in his films. No wonder people like Naseer rue the films of today.
This film is set in the backdrop of the year 1857: a very crucial year in modern Indian history. The British ‘East India Company’ had been ruling most of modern-day
This film is centered away from the main battles, in a small town in the north Indian plains. The prophetic pronouncements (Haq! Truth!) of a whirling Sufi dervish form the backdrop to the opening. He foresees a bloody future for the firanghis (foreigners).
The revolution comes to the peaceful dusty village, in church on a Sunday morning when the sepoys burst-in and murder the English soldiers. (Tom Alter, the Anglo-Indian actor, mercifully is one of them. His studious and labored acting in those initial 2 minutes thankfully comes to an end). Ruth Labadoor (played by Nafisa Ali) is the sensual nubile daughter of this English soldier who escapes the mob and runs home to her mother & grandmother. After an initial period of hiding from the free-booting mobs, aided by a loyal Indian aide (?): Kulbhushan Kharbanda, the ladies however fall into the hands of Javed (Shashi Kapoor) who even prior to the outbreak of violence harbored a lusty obsession for Ruth. And that’s the pivot of the story: his Junoon (Obsession).
Javed however, is already married to the character played by Shabana Azmi. Shabana is unable to bear any child to sustain Javed’s dynasty and doesn’t take too kindly to Javed’s two-fold intention of marrying Ruth and possibly having a child by her. Jennifer Kendal (Shashi Kapoor’s real-life wife) who plays the role of Mariam, Ruth’s mother tries to buy time to Javed’s offer of marriage by raising the condition: Ruth will be available for marriage only if the city of
Add Naseeruddin (Sarfraz) to this cauldron of characters. He is the rebel leader and brother (?) of Shabana. An intense character full of passion to freeing his ‘country’ and who for the life of him, cant understand Javed’s ‘junoon’ for Ruth (and preference for raising pigeons) and his resultant disinterest in the war for independence.
As Shyam Benegal’s stories (rather his handling of them) go, he pays a lot of attention to the building of characters and their interplay. The story itself may be very commonplace but the way it is told, doesn’t aim to be that.
And so we come to the end-play where
In a rather intensely emotional moment, Javed catches-up with the caravan of his fleeing family, only to ask his eager and relieved wife “Where are the firangis?” And the penny drops.
We are left with one last scene where Javed bids goodbye to Ruth but not before she betrays her softness of emotions to him. Shortly afterwords, their story its just another leaf in the wake of a storm.
Nafisa Ali as Ruth brings just the right amount of sensuality (of a budding youth) in her scenes. Her casting is apt. Nafisa brings just the right amount of vulnerability to the role. Although her propensity to go into hysterics is liable to drive you to one.
Whether its Shashi as a frenzied, obsessed Pathan, or Naseeruddin as the intense Sarfraz or Shabana as the guilt-wracken, pitiable wife of Javed who is not about to give-up without a fight, this film throws up some memorable characters to remember long after. Pearl Padamsee in a cameo of 2 minutes distinguishes herself.
The pacing of the movie and its tight link with the continuity ensures that there is hardly any slackness in the movie.
It’s the cinematography (its Govind Nihalani at the camera. GN went on to direct his own movies) that grabbed my attention throughout the movie. It is compact, very communicative and does very well to hide the imperfections of a low budget, modern ruins and less manpower in the battle scenes. The authentic location shoots are scenic.
Great literature, movies have one defining characteristic: they force characters to face situations which their abhor, philosophies which they dislike, people who are their antithesis and force an individual to churn his thoughts and put himself in the others shoes. This movie goes some way down that path.
- The open action in the village church could have been handled much better.
- The pact of Mariam with Javed to grant her daughter to him in a conjugal bond depending on whether
falls to the English was much more than a calculated risk. It just doesn’t seem convincing. Delhi
- Naseer’s way of venting out rage on the pigeons in the modern age would have brought out PETA and Maneka Gandhi out on the streets in protest.
- The act of a Nafisa in hiding feeding a beggar lady openly was rather thick given the circumstances they were in. This moment is an aberration in the movie
- The second aberration being that Ruth remained unwed ever after. This seems to be a peculiar Indian obsession I think. Remember Lagaan, too? Exactly the same.
And finally, one must mention Amir Khusrau’s song/ghazal ‘Aaj Rang Hai Ri Ma’ which graces the opening credits. Amir Khusrau of course, merits a separate blog-entry on his own and so we will have to wait another day for that.
Aaj Rang Hai Ri Ma
Adapted from a novel ‘The Flight of Pigeons’ by Ruskin Bond
Shashi Kapoor as Javed
Jennifer Kendal as Mariam
Naseeruddin Shah as Sarfraz
Tom Alter - seems rather studious in his approach to acting. Somewhat distracting
Nafisa Ali as Ruth Labadoor
Rafi, Asha, Varsha Bhonsle (surprise, this!!)
Dialogue: Pandit Satyadev Dubey
Add’l Dialogue: Ismat Chugtai
Music: Vanraj Bhatia
Photography : Govind Nihalani
Produced : Shashi Kapoor
Screenplay and Direction : Shyam Benegal
Say it with Numbers: #1-2007
- A study by research firm Gartner stated that six India's IT service providers- TCS, Infosys, Wipro, Cognizant, Satyam, and HCL Technologies, accounted for 1.9 per cent of the total US$ 672 billion IT services market in 2006, compared to 0.5 per cent of the US $554 billion IT services market in 2001
- The average annual growth rate of the SWITCH companies was 42.4 per cent in 2006, compared with a 4.3 per cent growth of the market leaders during the same period
- Giving example Gartner said despite IBM's US$ 48 billion total IT service revenue, its dollar growth year over year was less than US $1 billion. TCS, on the other hand, increased its revenues by over US $1.2 billion in 2006, and achieved this increase from a revenue base 1/18th of IBM's size.
- IT and ITES sectors will employ about 8 million people by the end of the year, compared to around 7 million in organized manufacturing.
- 50% of IT projects implemented by corporations are failures or delayed. And there is often no empirical evidence to prove the benefits that companies implementing these projects receive from technology
- 20% of all movies made in
are in Hindi India
- 40% of total movies made in
are in Tamil and Telugu India
- 25% of
Hollywoodrevenue is from box office and 40% from home video sales. The figures for Bollywood are 84% and 8% respectively
- 1.4 billion movie tickets sold in US in 2006. 3.7 billion sold in
in the same period India
- Multiplexes form 10% of total screens in
but earn 37% of revenue India
- There are 480 multiplexes in
- A typical low-cost airport with no frills can be built for Rs 40-50 crore (in Indian Tier II and Tier III cities)
- Indian exports in Oct-07 were around Rs 52.5K crore
- FM Radio industry in
- 37 new players in 91 cities and 120 stations on air each with an investment from 5 crore to 20 crore
- Only Radio Mirchi is making profits: Net profit of 10 crore in 2nd qtr of 2007 against accumulated losses of Rs 102 crore
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Theory of the Long Tail
The Theory of the Long Tail – Chris Anderson (How endless choice is creating unlimited demand)
Our culture and economy are increasingly shifting away from a focus on a relatively small number of hits (mainstream products and markets) at the head of the demand curve and moving toward a huge number of niches in the tail. In an era without the constraints of physical shelf space and other bottlenecks of distribution, narrowly targeted goods and services can be as economically attractive as mainstream fare.
- In virtually all markets, there are far more niche goods than hits. That ratio is growing exponentially larger as the tools of production become cheaper and more ubiquitous.
- The costs of reaching those niches is now falling dramatically. Thanks to a combination of forces including digital distribution, powerful search technologies and a critical mass of broadband penetration, online markets are resetting the economics of retail. Thus, in many markets, it is now possible to offer a massively expanded variety of products.
- ……….Consumers must be given ways to find niches that suit their particular needs and interests. A range of tools and techniques – from recommendations to rankings – are effective at doing this. These “filters” can drive demand down the Tail.
- Once there’s massively expanded variety and the filters to sort through it, the demand curve flattens. There are still hits and niches, but the hits are relatively less popular and the niches relatively more so
- All those niches add up. Although none sell in huge numbers, there are so many niche products that collectively they can comprise a market rivaling the hits.
- Once all this is in place, the natural shape of demand is revealed, undistorted by distribution bottlenecks, scarcity of information, and limited choice of shelf space. Whats more, that shape is far less hit-driven than we have been led to believe. Instead, it is as diverse as the population itself.
The first force is democratizing the tools of production………..Millions of people now have the capacity to make a short film or album, or publish their thoughts to the world ………..Give enough people the capacity to create, and inevitably gems will emerge.…………….. available universe of content is now growing faster then ever. This is what extends the tail to the right
The second force is cutting the costs of consumption by democratizing distribution……….it was the Internet that made everyone the distributor………the difference between fractions of pennies to deliver content online and the dollars it takes to do it with trucks, warehouses and shelves……..Internet has dramatically lowered the costs of reaching consumers.
The Internet simply makes it cheaper to reach more people, effectively increasing the liquidity of the market in the Tail. That, in turn, translates to more consumption, effectively raising the sales line and increasing the area under the curve.
The third force is connecting supply and demand, introducing consumers to these new and newly available goods and driving demand down the Tail……Google’s wisdom of crowds search….iTunes recommendations…….blogs…customer reviews
P.G.Wodehouse - 1
From ‘Meet Mr. Mulliner’
……..and his evenings in doing crossword puzzles. By the time, he was thirty he knew more about Eli, the prophet Ra, the Sun God and the bird Emu than anybody else in the country except Susan Blake, the vicar’s daughter who had also taken up the solving of crossword puzzles and was the first girl in Worcestershire to find out the meaning of ‘stearine’ and ‘crepuscular’……. (p.10)
Susan was just as constant a caller at George’s cosy little cottage, being frequently stumped as girls will be, by words of eight letters signifying ‘largely used in the manufacture of poppet valves. (p.11)
He was a kindly man with moth eaten whiskers and an eye like a meditative codfish (p.11)
………..he sounds like a soda-water siphon trying to recite Gunga Din (p.12)
George had never before traveled under the seat of a railway carriage and though he belonged to the younger generation, which is supposed to be avid of new experiences, he had no desire to do so now (p.17)
Little as he knew of women, he was aware that as a sex they are apt to be startled by the sight of men crawling out from under the seats of compartments (p.17-18)
Her eyes were now about the size of regulation standard golf-balls and her breathing suggested the last stages of asthma (p.19)
It is a curious thing that inspite of the railway company’s sporting willingness to let their patrons have a tug at the extremely moderate price of five pounds a go, very few people have ever either pulled a cord or seen it pulled. There is thus, a widespread ignorance as to what precisely happens on such occasions (p.20-21)
‘Sir Jasper Finch-Ferrowmere?’ said Wilfred.
‘ffinch ffarrowmere,’ corrected the visitor, his sensitive ear detecting the capital letters (p. 29)
Externally, ffinch Hall was one of those gloomy, somber country houses which seem to exist only for the purpose of having horrid crimes committed in them (p.32).
It was the sort of house where ravens croak in the front garden just before the death of the heir and shrieks ring out from behind barred windows in the night (p.32)
The brain which had electrified the world of science by discovering that if you mixed a stiffish Oxygen and Potassium and added a splash of trinitrotoluol and a spot of old brandy you got something that could be sold in America as champagne at $150, the case had to confess itself baffled (p.33)
……and the general demeanour of a saintly but timid cod-fish (p.41)
Go back to your kitchen, woman; select another; and remember this time that you are a cook, not an incinerating machine. Between an egg that is fried and an egg that is cremated there is a wide and substantial difference (p.46)
Beastly laugh he’d got. Like glue pouring out of a jug (p.66)
Statistics show that the two classes of the community which least often marry are milkmen and fashionable photographers – milkmen because they see women too easily in the morning and fashionable photographers because their days are spent in an atmosphere of feminine loveliness so monotonous that they become surfeited and morose (p.130)
‘I tipped my cabman at
‘I can hardly believe it’
‘Nor could I, when I found out. I thought it was 3 pence….’ (p.145)
…………making a noise like a bassoon into its interior (p.170)
From ‘Uneasy Money’
……..made a noise when he drank soup like water running out of a bathtub (p.13)
‘You said you met him in
‘Well, yes that’s true. He was walking up the Haymarket and I was walking down. I caught his eye and he nodded and passed on. I don’t see how I could construe that as an invitation to go and sit on his lap and help myself out of his pockets’ (p.14)
Miss Daisy Leonard was still demure, but as she had just slipped a piece of ice down the back of Nutty’s neck one may assume that she was feeling at her ease and had overcome any diffidence or shyness which might have interfered with her complete enjoyment of the festivities. (p.50)
Was it, he asked himself, altogether her fault that she was so massive and spoke as if she were addressing an open-air meeting in a strong gale? (p.50-51)
Hanging over the top of the gate like a wet sock (p.91)
From ‘Bachelors Anonymous’
The two were friends of long standing. Mr.Trout had handled all of Mr.Llewellyn’s five divorces, including his latest from Grayce, widow of Orlando Mulligan, the Western star and this formed a bond. There is nothing like a good divorce for breaking down the barriers between lawyer and client. It gives them something to talk about.
He was a man, who except when marrying, thought things over. (p.5)
……seedier part of
………….merely standing there, making a noise like the death rattle of an expiring soda siphon (p.107)
The partiality of drowning men for straws is proverbial; but as a class, they are broad-minded and well clutch at punt-poles with equal readiness (p.118)
“On rising,” he told Wilmot, “take the juice of an orange. For luncheon, the juice of an orange. And for dinner the juice….” He paused for a moment before springing the big surprise – “of an orange. For the rest, I am not an advocate of nourishment between meals, but I am inclined to think that , should you become faint during the day – or possibly the night – there will be no harm in your taking….well, yes, I really see no reason why you should not take the juice of - let us say – an orange” (p.166)
Why is there unrest in
And here this lion has got him down and is starting to chew the face off him. He gazes into its hideous eyes and he hears its fearful snarls and he knows the end is near. And where I think you’re wrong, Levitsky is in saying that that’s the spot for our big cabaret sequence. What I say is what we need here is for the
From ‘The Clicking of Cuthbert and Other Stories’
In the second chapter, I allude to Stout Cortes staring at the Pacific. I received an anonymous letter containing the words “You big stiff, it wasn’t Cortes, it was Balboa.” This I believe is historically accurate. On the other hand, if Cortes was good enough for Keats, he is good enough for me. Besides, even if it was Balboa, the Pacific was open for being stared at about that time and I see no reason why Cortes should not have had a look at it as well. (p.10)
Mortimer finished his dinner in a trance, which is the best way to do it at some hotels (p.66)
…..said Mr.Devine, ‘I have been greatly influenced by Sovietski’
“Sovietski no good!” (it was Vladimir Brusiloff)
He paused for a moment, set the machinery working again and delivered five more at the pithead
‘I spit me of Sovietski!’
Until this moment Raymond Parsloe Devine’s stock had stood at something considerably over par in Wood Hills intellectual circles, but now there was a rapid slump. Hitherto he had been greatly admired for being influenced by Sovietski, but it appeared now that this was not the good thing to be. It was evidently a rotten thing to be. And Cuthbert Banks, doing his popular imitation of a sardine in a corner, felt for the first time that life held something of sunshine.
Raymond Parsloe Devine was plainly shaken but he made an adroit attempt to recover his lost prestige.
‘When I say I have been influenced by Sovietski, I mean, of course, that I was once under his spell. I now belong wholeheartedly to the
There was a reaction. People nodded at one another sympathetically. After all, we cannot expect old heads on young shoulders and a lapse at the outset of one’s career should not be held against one who has eventually seen the light.
‘Nastikoff no good,’ said Vladimir Brusiloff coldly. ‘Nastikoff worse than Sovietski. I spit me of Nastikoff!’
This time there was no doubt about it. The bottom had dropped out of the market and Raymond Parsloe Devine Preferred were down in the cellar with no takers. It was clear to the entire assembled company that they had been all wrong about Raymond Parsloe Devine. They had taken him at his own valuation and had been cheated into admiring him as a man who amounted to something and all the while he had belonged to the
From ‘Summer Lightning’
Most of the photographs in the weekly paper were of peeresses trying to look like chorus girls and chorus girls trying to look like peeresses (p.14)
‘Hugo?’ ‘Millicent?’ ‘Is that you?’ ‘Yes. Is that you?’ ‘Yes.’ Anything in the nature of misunderstanding was cleared away. It was both of them (p.223)
From ‘Right Ho! Jeeves’
Nobody could love a freak like Gussie except a similar freak like the Basset……….Just the fellow to tell you what to do till the doctor came, if you had a sick newt on your hands (p.155-156)
From ‘Nothing Serious’
“Miss Flack?” “Hello?”
“Sorry to disturb you at this hour, but will you marry me?”
“Certainly. Who is that?”
“I don’t get the second name.”
“Bessemer. B for banana. E for erysipelas”
“Oh; Mr.Bessemer? Yes delighted. Good Night Mr.Bessemer.”
“Good Night; Miss Flack.” (p.168-169)
From ‘The Inimitable Jeeves’
……..when Aunt is calling to Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps (p.157)
From ‘Ice in the Bedroom’
I was the one who was feeling faint when the waiter brought the bad news. I thought for a moment he must have added in the date (p.88)
From ‘The Mating Season’
My Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth (p.5)
‘Tell me, Bertie, have you ever stolen a cub from a tigress?’
I said no, for one reason and another I never had……..(p.121)
King’s Deverill was one of those villages where picturesque cottages breed like rabiits (p.175)